Adoption letterbox service
Information about the adoption letterbox service which enables adoptive parents and birth relatives of a child share information.
What is the letterbox service?
The letterbox service has been set up so that birth relatives and adoptive parents of a child can exchange information.
It provides birth relatives with an opportunity to receive up to date information about the child and how he/she is getting on. Adoptive parents are able to receive information about the birth relatives including any changes in circumstances which they may wish to share with the child. It also enables adoptive parents to have access to medical and family history which may be important as the child grows up.
Why was the letterbox service set up?
Many birth relatives find it difficult to have no further information about their child after an adoption order has been made. Some birth relatives simply want to be reassured that their child is still alive, while others appreciate more detailed information.
Some children who are adopted have an equally strong wish to know what is happening to their birth relatives. At different stages in their lives, children have different needs in relation to information and contact. The letterbox service enables a door to be kept open to meet the needs of the child.
Information given to adoptive parents at the time of adoption can quickly become out of date. They may appreciate being able to update their information. How much information is shared with the child and when it is shared are decisions made by the adoptive parents.
While much of the information exchanged is positive and reassuring, there may be times when the information to be exchanged is difficult, perhaps painful. Please ask your social worker for support if you feel this would be helpful.
Who can use the letterbox?
Birth relatives generally mean the child’s mother and father. Usually, the birth parents decide whether or not to share their information with their close relatives. Occasionally, it may be appropriate for other relatives to be part of the agreement in their own right for example grandparents, brothers and sisters.
An adopted child may have brothers and sisters who were adopted by another family. In that situation, their respective adoptive parents can exchange information through the letterbox service.
Adopted children cannot use the letterbox service directly. All contact will be through their adopted parents. Children, particularly older children, may be encouraged by their adopted parents to use the letterbox service but the correspondence will be primarily between the adults involved.
How does the letterbox service work?
Birth relatives and adoptive parents each sign separate contact agreements which indicate when information is to be exchanged. Usually an annual or bi-annual letter is agreed.
Letters will be read by administrators before they are passed on to the appropriate person. This is because there may be times when the information could be distressing to the reader. On these occasions, the administrator will return the correspondence to the birth relative or adoptive family. It is easier for the administrators if information such as cards are not sealed.
All information sent to the letterbox service is treated as highly confidential.
Information will only be sent on when it has been requested. This is because we need to have confirmation of the current address before sending out such confidential information. Usually when people send a letter into the letterbox service they will also send a confirmation of their address so that the exchange can take place.
How do I become part of the letterbox service?
Before a child is linked with adoptive parents, we have a good idea of what the birth parents, adopted parents and child would like in the way of post-adoption contact. Looking at the wishes of all concerned is an important part of the linking process. However, it is not always possible to meet all requests.
The child’s social worker will draw up an agreement as to how and when the letterbox service will be used. Birth parents, adopters and any other participants will be asked to discuss the agreement, negotiate any changes and sign it. The agreement will then be sent to the administrators who will ensure the agreement is activated.
Am I legally obliged to provide information?
Most letterbox agreements are voluntary and dependent on the goodwill of all those concerned. We hope that everyone will keep to the agreement they have made. Breaking an agreement may cause considerable hurt and distress to other people, including the child as he or she grows up.
Will I be contacted if I do not keep the agreement?
It can be easy to forget to send information to the letterbox at the time agreed. Adopters will be reminded to do this. Birth parents will be reminded for the first two years. If birth parents do not make contact, the information sent by the adopters will be kept until the next contact is due. If no further contact is made, the administrator will return the letter and the agreement will be considered to have ended.
The adoptive family may suggest a further agreement where they continue to send an annual letter to the letterbox service indicating the child’s current development. This will enable us to assist the birth parent if they contact us again in the future.
How long does the letterbox service last?
The letterbox service will offer an exchange of information until the adopted child is 18 years old. At this point, they are able to make their own decisions about how or if they wish to continue with the contact.
What if I am not very good at writing?
Some people do not feel very comfortable in writing down information and do not know what kind of thing to share. If you would like help writing your letters, please contact us to discuss this further.
Final note
We realise that keeping contact through the letterbox is complicated. Please talk to your social worker about this or any other queries you may have.
Further information
Letterbox service support
Tel: 0121 704 6000
Email: adoptionsupport@solihull.gov.uk
PO Box 14479, Solihull, B91 9LA