Emotions and behaviour

From the section: Supporting your child's development

Emotions and behaviour

Young children may find managing their emotions difficult, so need help to control their emotions and behaviour.

Firstly, you need to consider: is what you are seeing due to your child’s age, or their developmental stage? You can check information on age-related expectations for being able to wait, share, take turns, etc. This can help you understand if the behaviours you are seeing are ‘usual’ for your child’s age or stage of development.

Behaviour is often a child's only way to communicate what they want or need.

If a child has communication delays, it can cause them to become frustrated. Supporting your child’s communication will help to support their behaviour.

Think about how you respond to your child

Behaviour is a two-way communication, and you may need to change how you respond to your child to change how your child responds back. It is easy to find yourself stuck in a negative cycle, but there is lots of helpful advice in Solihull to support you in this area.

Be consistent

It can be easy to become disheartened with your approach to managing behaviour and teaching social skills. Yet, swapping and changing between approaches because you do not think they are working can be confusing to your child. Be as consistent as you can as a family with how you respond to your child and remember - it will probably take time before you start to see positive changes.

Togetherness (The Solihull Approach) guide to milestones will help you to understand emotional and developmental progress during the first five years.

Top tips on emotional regulation and behaviour

Establish predictable routines

Routines help children feel safe and secure. Having predictable meal, nap, and playtimes reduces anxiety and creates a sense of stability, which is especially important for children who find it difficult to control their emotions.

Teach emotional labelling and expression

Help your child understand and name their feelings ("I see you're feeling sad"). Offer simple strategies for managing emotions, such as deep breathing or hugging a soft toy, to encourage the child to be able to calm themselves.

Model calm and patience

Children often mirror the emotions of adults around them. Modelling calm behaviour during stressful moments can teach children how to manage big feelings and react more positively to difficult situations.

Create a safe space for emotions

Set up a calming corner with comforting items like soft cushions, a blanket, or a favourite toy. This designated space can be a retreat when your child feels overwhelmed, offering a sense of security and calm.

Use visual aids for understanding emotions

Visual aids like emotion charts or pictures can help young children recognize different emotions. These tools give them a visual clue to understand and communicate what they're feeling.

Encourage simple social interaction

Gradually expose your child to social situations, starting with short playtimes with one other child. Gentle introductions to small group activities or playdates can help them build confidence in social settings.

Teach simple coping strategies

Show your child easy coping techniques like squeezing a stress ball, counting to ten, or taking deep breaths when they feel upset. Practicing these skills regularly makes them more likely to be used when needed.

Acknowledge efforts to control emotions

When your child makes attempts to manage their feelings, notice it and praise their effort, even if the outcome isn’t perfect. Positive praise builds their self-esteem and encourages emotional growth.

Avoid over-stimulation

Keep environments calm and avoid overwhelming your child with too much noise, crowds, or sudden changes. Over-stimulation can increase anxiety or emotional outbursts, especially in children with SEND.

Provide opportunities for movement and sensory play

Physical movement and sensory activities (like playing with water, sand, or dough) can help children release energy and emotions in a constructive way, encourage relaxation and self-regulation.

Top tips on emotions and behaviour (document)